Happy Colorblind Awareness Day!
(Or as the rest of the world likes to call it St. Patrick’s Day)
Twenty plus years ago I woke up on St. Patrick’s Day. Excited for a fun holiday, I went to my closet and picked out my favorite bright green t-shirt. I was ready and exited. You see, tradition has it that if somebody doesn’t wear green on St. Patty’s day you are allowed to pinch them. I was in elementary school, and if I didn’t wear green I was likely to end up like a victim in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.
I arrived at school and instantly I was pinched… hard! “Wait!”, I said, “I’m wearing green, you aren’t allowed to pinch me.” The girl looked at me funny and asked: “Uh… where?” I excitedly pointed at my bright green t-shirt. She laughed at me and ran away.
Child after child they came up pinches, laughed, and ran away. After a few of them I started to realize I had made a dreadful mistake. It was obvious I wasn’t wearing green, or at least it was obvious to them.
After a day of being pinched and laughed at, I finally made it home. I said to my mom: “I was pinched all day today, why didn’t you tell me I wasn’t wearing green?!” She looked at me a little quizzically and responded: “Oh, I thought you were just trying to be a little rebellious.”
The next year, I was ready. I asked my mom for help, and the two of us picked out a nice green shirt for St. Patrick’s Day. I went to school, and was determined to make up for last year. This year I would be the aggressor, my classmates would feel my pinch! I arrived and noticed somebody without green on. I ran up and said: “I get to pinch you! You aren’t wearing green.” The boy gave me a strange look, “Yes I am”, he said. I responded, “It doesn’t count if it is on your underwear.” And I reached out and pinched him hard.
Satisfied that I had won this year I strutted into class, only to find my teacher there waiting with her arms crossed, the little boy with a smirk standing next to her. After an explanation that his pants were indeed green. And a firm explanation that pinching is not allowed in school, I was finally sent to my seat. From that day forward, I decided to fight for the disabled. I vowed to hate St. Patrick’s Day, and to defend all those who are pinched unaware. Or… at least that’s what I tell everyone when, after an hour of staring into my closet debating which one is green, I end up at work wearing a bright yellow shirt.