The Bard of Robots

Colorblind Awareness Day

Happy Colorblind Awareness Day! 
(Or as the rest of the world likes to call it St. Patrick’s Day)

Twenty plus years ago I woke up on St. Patrick’s Day.  Excited for a fun holiday, I went to my closet and picked out my favorite bright green t-shirt.  I was ready and exited.  You see, tradition has it that if somebody doesn’t wear green on St. Patty’s day you are allowed to pinch them.  I was in elementary school, and if I didn’t wear green I was likely to end up like a victim in Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.

ntssadylI arrived at school and instantly I was pinched… hard!  “Wait!”, I said, “I’m wearing green, you aren’t allowed to pinch me.”  The girl looked at me funny and asked: “Uh… where?”  I excitedly pointed at my  bright green t-shirt.  She laughed at me and ran away.

Child after child they came up pinches, laughed, and ran away.  After a few of them I started to realize I had made a dreadful mistake.  It was obvious I wasn’t wearing green, or at least it was obvious to them.

After a day of being pinched and laughed at, I finally made it home.  I said to my mom: “I was pinched all day today, why didn’t you tell me I wasn’t wearing green?!”  She looked at me a little quizzically and responded: “Oh, I thought you were just trying to be a little rebellious.”

The next year, I was ready.  I asked my mom for help, and the two of us picked out a nice green shirt for St. Patrick’s Day.  I went to school, and was determined to make up for last year.  This year I would be the aggressor, my classmates would feel my pinch!  I arrived and noticed somebody without green on.  I ran up and said: “I get to pinch you!  You aren’t wearing green.”  The boy gave me a strange look, “Yes I am”, he said.  I responded, “It doesn’t count if it is on your underwear.”  And I reached out and pinched him hard.

Satisfied that I had won this year I strutted into class, only to find my teacher there waiting with her arms crossed, the little boy with a smirk standing next to her.  After an explanation that his pants were indeed green.  And a firm explanation that pinching is not allowed in school, I was finally sent to my seat.  From that day forward, I decided to fight for the disabled.  I vowed to hate St. Patrick’s Day, and to defend all those who are pinched unaware.  Or… at least that’s what I tell everyone when, after an hour of staring into my closet debating which one is green, I end up at work wearing a bright yellow shirt.

This project is maintained by bradgrimm